THE MOM SPIRAL
PARENT THE HUMAN WAY
ATTACHMENT
IS VITAL
Where are the professional parents? How can I hire them?!
This is one of those good news/bad news situations.
Assuming you like bad news first…You don't want to hire anyone else.
Good news…No one can parent your child better than YOU!
It doesn’t matter what works for anyone else because the attachment part is you.
It won’t matter how many tips, tricks or scripts you try if they aren’t attached to you.
It's vital if you want to do more than just survive.
It's vital if you want your relationship with your child to thrive.
It's vital if you want them to be able to do so in any and every relationship they have.
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ATTACHMENT = RELATIONSHIP
Your child's first and lasting imprint of what a relationship feels and looks like begins with you.
When you know the power of attachment...
You'll finally get what your job as a parent actually is (and is not)
You'll know how to best support the whole relationship all 18 years!
Attachment does 3 important things.
It gives you your power to parent.
It engages your child’s innate drive to be receptive to your parenting.
And it is the only way your child will ever reach full maturity.
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It's not 'attachment' parenting. It's not just a good relationship or what feels like a strong connection or bond.
Love is actually not enough!
It's not mainstream advice. It's also not fluff, BS or bypassing. It's how you were made and designed to do this.
It’s the missing piece that'll change your approach and experience of parenting like nothing else you have ever heard.
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This isn’t just about babies and secure attachment. It doesn’t end there.
This is a 7 year process that keeps and deepens attachment.
Your job is to keep attachment. To deepen and strengthen it or the power is lost.
Like any relationship, you have to work on keeping it together.
They won’t hold onto you if you don’t hold onto them.
You weren't told this foundational concept
It's the most important, missing piece in raising your child.
To know how you were designed to do this.
How development is supposed to happen.
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Without it you’re doing everything in opposition to attachment.
You’re wiring their bodies to adapt.
You’re keeping them stuck.
They won’t develop into their fullest potential or maturity.
They’ll grow older but not truly grow up.
They’ll become an adult who spends their life coping or having to heal.
You are your child’s only answer and you have to remain the answer.
You have to know how to keep attachment through their entire childhood
(and not loose them to their peers! this concept will change the entire course of their life)
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It's not...how do I get my child to be good?
It's...does my child want to be good for ME? ONLY if they're attached!
Attachment is what makes them want to be good for you, depend on you, ask for help, and take guidance from you.
When attachment isn't in place it’s impossible to parent.
If they aren’t receptive to you then they’re going to be against you.
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It’s not that you or your child is lacking something, or you’re bad at parenting or they’re just bad!
It’s not a skill to be learned or taught. It’s a natural force to use.
It’s that your attachment is weak or lacking.
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You need to stop wasting time worrying about surface level things that you can see and label behavior.
This is coming from what you can’t see, but that’s where you need to look.
It’s why you need to know the root cause is attachment. So you know what to work on if there is a problem.
There is so much relief and ease when you know attachment ☺
You just have to take your place and it does the work that needs to be done.
It doesn't come from knowing all the answers, but that YOU ARE THE ANSWER.
You have to assume your role for your child to assume theirs.
You aren’t just the leader because you’re the parent.
When your child attaches to you, you become the answer, truly whether they like it or not! ☺
If you don’t first know about attachment and your place in it,
then you end up putting the blame on yourself.
You think it’s about your ability to parent.
You think something is wrong with you or you blame it on your kids and their behavior.
Sooo you lack the necessary skills or just have a difficult child.
Anddd since you don’t know your role you don’t approach it as the problem.
You think you don’t know something, so you seek the how-to (outside yourself)
This is exactly how you loose attachment and step out of your role.
Without attachment they're essentially trying to survive without you!
They're STUCK in survival mode. They become in charge of protecting themselves.
And that's what you're labeling misbehavior.
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There is a difference between a child who acts mature and a child who is given time to become mature.
We’re trying to get them to act mature, not be mature.
We’ve become distracted, confused, and swayed into believing that a mature performance is the same as maturity.
We think we can control growth.
Instead of focusing on how we influence the conditions that truly and naturally allow it to happen.
When you don't know about attachment...
You blame it on all the things it's NOT.
You search to fix or change you or your child.
You tell yourself everyone else is doing it better.
You push yourself to be and do more.
You loose yourself and burn out your body.
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It's human nature. It isn’t your job to figure out.
It’s simple. It’s hard because you have no idea nature has your back.
You have the support. You just have to assume your role and attachment will do the work.
I want you to have this knowledge. I want this to be in your awareness every day.
I want you to be EMPOWERED.
I want you to enjoy this parenting journey.
I want us to finally get it right, so our kids can be happy and healthy and truly live their lives!
You feel this. You feel there’s something off.
You know there’s something you should be doing. You feel it, but you don’t know what it is. You feel this because it’s your innate drive as a human and a parent,
but the knowledge and awareness isn’t there.
I’m here to give it to you.
The cliche is so very true and I didn't get it until now. IT'S ALL WITHIN YOU.
Meaning not like in your heart and soul, but in your makeup.
Your life can reflect this natural perfectly laid out plan for you.
You just have to work with it, not against it.
Everything we’re told to do is in total opposition.
THIS IS THE SAFETY YOU'RE MISSING.
This is what your body needs to actually show up and parent.
Right now you’re doing your best, but it’s based off NOTHING!
This is the fundamental information that never changes.
You’ll have the awareness to know what’s going on, to know when things are off and to know what to do anytime.
This is empowerment. You won’t need anyone or anything else, truly.
You’ll know how to keep and strengthen attachment.
You’ll know what needs support or attention so that you’re not wasting your life on band-aids.
Everything you need to focus on comes from the basic concept that you are human and you are nature
and if you want to reach your fullest potential the only way is to honor and follow its plan.
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You already have your power to parent.
Your child already has the instincts to be parented.
You have to know how attachment works to be a part of its purposeful plan.
This journey can be a fight or it can be a dance!
You each take your appointed role and it all works as it’s intended to.
So it’s the easiest for you and the best way for them.
You don’t waste your life in places that don’t matter and they reach their fullest potential.
You don’t have to figure out, force, control, try or manipulate an outcome.
Or even question if its right or wrong, good or bad or best.
You make it through without the sacrifice, strife and sorrow
that comes from working against the perfect arrangement in which a human grows.
When you align with nature they will turn out better than you could ever plan or could do alone.
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When you know you’re supported. You're safe to parent. You can rest in ATTACHMENT and shine from there!
If you want to hear and understand Attachment more + impactful resources to implement right now
VITAL SPIRAL
IN ESSENCE AND OVERALL WHAT THIS SPIRAL HOLDS:
Nature has a plan, how you’re supported, how you benefit and how to take advantage of it.
What you always need to be doing to keep your child developing and reaching their fullest potential to maturity.
Signs and ways you can mess with the natural process.
Where to let go so nature can do the teaching you think or feel you need to.
All the misunderstandings, misinterpretations, misconceptions and myths.
All the problems with and alternatives to. The differences and importance of.
Hidden, secret and tricky places you have no idea you’re messing with or hurting your child or where you’re unconsciously or unintentionally doing it wrong
What it looks and feels like or could, in you and your child.
What to do and what not to do. What to try. What to avoid.
What not to do to teach them coping or adaptation.
Lots of examples of what’s probably happening in your life right now and a different option.
What you’re doing or saying and what to do and say instead.
What you feel like it is and what it really is.
Common thoughts and approaches and what to do instead.
Places to look and consider that you might not be aware or think of.
What I do with my girls and why. I’ll give you lots of detailed examples.
Daily things you can do to keep attachment strong.
Things to do in the moment, after and outside the moments.
LESSON 1
ATTACHMENT
The beginnings of secure attachment. Our babies and where it all starts.
The foundational information and explanation of attachment and how it works.
Your role and your child's role. All the things a secure child learns. Attachment hunger.
7 year timeline. What this looks like in real life and how to strengthen each part.
LESSON 2
DEVELOPMENT
How development and maturity connect.
What you need to be aware of so you’re not hindering the process.
How your nervous system states, lifestyle and society affects their development.
How they need to be truly dependent on you to ever be independent.
How development relates to behavior.
Explanation and examples of places that are typical, but not natural or supportive of development or attachment.
What’s really going on when you have to leave a place and how to handle transitions.
How to reorient when attachments change.
How to handle developmental delays in a healthy way.
How to protect development and set boundaries.
LESSON 3
SHYNESS
Explanation of what shyness is and isn’t.
How to safely approach shyness and not hinder their instincts or add labels or shame.
LESSON 4
ALPHA ROLE
What it is and how you assume your role.
How it all goes back to safety and what that means to strengthen your position.
What this looks like and doesn’t look like.
LESSON 5
ALPHA CHILD
Why this happens and the things that put this role reversal in place.
Signs and what it looks like when your child has stepped into the alpha role.
What it feels like for you and how you might feel about your child.
How this affects the nervous system and how it’s wired.
Other ways this shows up in life and in other relationships.
A look at your stuff and how it affects them.
LESSON 6
YOUR ROLE
All the things you need to BE.
All the ways you assume your role and keep it strong.
How to keep your focus on you, not them.
How to be the parent. How to be responsible and accountable and influence outcomes.
The truth around boundaries and how to set them.
How to get to the place of balance between kind and firm, not too tough or nice.
LESSON 7
COMPETING ATTACHMENTS
Discuss all the places, teachers, caregivers, family, friends.
How we lose our kids and how to hold onto them.
How to set up strong attachments with other adults.
What’s really happening when you’re not their attachment.
The actual relationship model and timeline so they establish themselves first.
How wounding happens and how to prevent it.
What happens when your child attaches to a peer.
Divorce situations.
LESSON 8
SAFETY
How to provide unconditional safety.
Looking at how you provide safety and if they are truly experiencing it.
How to create a solid, secure, safe foundation as your child’s core truth.
Safety setpoints and how to change them. How this affects all their future relationships.
How everything happens in our bodies and it only matters how safe it feels.
LESSON 9
ALARM
Understand its true purpose. Honor and respect its immense function in our lives.
How to know how to approach and work with it, not against it.
How to normalize alarm.
How to use this energy correctly and in the healthiest way for your body.
How our brain turns alarm into a story and this is what we think is the “problem.”
What alarm becomes for our kids when they don’t stay in their body with the sensation.
How to approach and handle fears.
Steps to bring down alarm in the moment. Prepare and empower outside the moment.
How to use your alpha role to reduce alarm.
Replace their idea with more truth.
How to use play to naturally conquer fears and alarm.
LESSON 10
SEPARATION
Full explanation of how this has the greatest impact on attachment and the NS.
How to handle anticipated separation.
How to handle, prepare separation, before, during and after.
What to do so attachment is strong and you don’t have separation issues
What it takes to be truly attached to another adult and how to intentionally create this.
What to do when separation is an issue every time.
Lots of examples of what to do to strengthen attachment for being separated.
Steps to do before school starts.
What to do before and after separation.
Matchmaking, greeting, collecting, orienting.
Difference between alarm and exhaustion.
Defensive detachment, this is a commonly misunderstood experience, you think they’re having fun, but it’s an attachment red flag.
LESSON 11
RAINBOW
What and how to create this channel of energy between you.
What to focus on and make sure they know.
LESSON 12
COLLECT
Collecting and connecting and building attachment. Greeting ritual. Gazing. Mirroring.
LESSON 13
CONNECT
Why before you direct. I statements.
Access to the Circle platform on website + mobile
MONTHLY QA + COACHING CALL
SUPPORT + COMMUNITY
Private space in Circle. Share + Explore Together
Ask questions, gather insight + inspiration, receive support + guidance.
A group of moms learning and growing like you with concepts most aren't even aware of.
Empowered, Attached YOU is waiting on the other side of that button ♥
$ 2 4 7
You are worth all that it takes to embody who you truly are and mother from that place
You are worth it
Your child is worth it